"I write a blog filled to the RIM of usually offensive, observational satire. But don't worry, its FUN! Thank you to the city of San Antonio Texas where i call home. The complete lack of anything normal gives me a reason to get on here and jot down my experiences. Thanks to Roland, my boyfriend who i love so ridiculously much that i feel the need to take a jab at him every now and again. (hes a good sport) Thank you to camera phones...u really are the single greatest invention ever. And to my friends and family. Love u guys, thanks for supporting my quirky ways and thinking I'm funny, even when i don't think i am."
Weeky rundown cliffs notes style…
January 23rd, 2010 by Crystal@Pshhaww.net received 3 Comments »This week in Casa de Pepe’.
Missed the beginning of the week in work because my desire to just blow the place to smithereens overpowered my will to work. (i know its not very wise to express anger with saying that i want to blow everything up) Just in case for whatever reason it really DOES in fact blow up, I would be prime suspect. Based off the fact that i express my desire to do so on a daily basis. It’s a lot like saying you want to kill someone….I often tell Roland “OMG Roland, I’m going to totally fucking kill you!!” Yet another situation, if the man turns up missing or something I’m prime suspect because i was going around telling him how i wanted to kill him all the time…
Just saying…
Tax season is among us, and the desire to get a good refund is on all of your minds. OR to not owe the IRS anything, because lets face it the IRS are a lot like the mob in that sense. And you Definitely DO NOT want to owe the mob. But unlike the mob, instead of sticking you in someone’s trunk and rolling you into a river the IRS will just garnish your checking account thousands of dollars. AS a result of this, you would gladly stick YOURSELF in someone’s trunk and pay THEM to roll you into a river. It really does happen i see it every day. (the garnishments, not people in trunks rolling into rivers).
My Dad, like every year does my taxes with his turbo tax thing. Getting my W2 yesterday i give him as much info as i can and he says “well it looks like your getting $272.00 back this year.” 
“WHAT??!!!!!???!!”
Needless to say….I’m not very happy. I’ll let you know how that goes. I told Roland, “If i was only going to make $272.00 on my tax return this year, it would be in his best interest to leave me alone for a couple of days..”
I have decided that i am going to start a sex line business, I’m going to be like the madam of phone sex vixens. We will all work from home, in our Pajamas, and pretend we are having the greatest voice sex EVER, with lonely perverts. Let’s face it, i think i am the top of my game when it comes to phone acting. To pretend you care a substantial amount for someone who is a fuckin retard and screaming at you….that is SKILL! Half the time, in truth, I’m not even paying attention. lol.
_____IN OTHER NEWS____
So…I got THE the COOLEST most amazing Xmas Card today. There is a blogger, or should i say “Bloggess” Who on a day to day basis cracks me the HELL UP….i dont want to sound like Roland here when i say this but…”"I think we could be friends". She has a Hog’s Head named “James Garfield” Anyway…huge fan….So i got this….And it is WIN!
Updater rater gater……smater……tater….later?
So after speaking with my father, he advised me that he was in fact doing my initial tax return half asleep, SO it turns out that i will be making significantly MORE then $272.00 dollars.
Roland’s life has been spared…..
Posted under: Art, amazing, animals, awesome, beautiful, celebrities, christmas, cool, fail, holidays, life, random, work, wtf
I’m glad you liked it, my friend. It’s hard to go wrong with James Garfield.
hey that is funny poor dog though, im sure she was all into the holiday too.
hogs head? lol i thought it was a dog, i needed to reread and put my glasses on to really tell but i still cant see it